My girlfriend wants to get her nipples reduced. I don't understand this. I love the way they look (like pepperoni slices -- reminds me of pizza, and all boys love pizza), but she's really adamant about it. She doesn't like her breasts at all, to the point where she keeps a bra or shirt on during sex. No matter how much I try to soothe her, she still insists. What do you know about this surgery? Does it reduce sensation? Does it even exist? -- RON Y.

By your colourful description in parentheses, I am assuming that your girlfriend wants her areolae reduced rather than her nipples, but just in case I'm wrong, we will cover both surgeries. I am beginning to wonder if there's not a surgery to reduce the part of people's brains that makes them worry about such trivialities.

Dr. Stubbs, my penis, breast and vagina guy, says very few women actually go for a simple areola reduction because there's a potential for "horrendous" scarring, but it is often part of a larger surgery, such as a lift or reduction. The nerves come from below so there is very little likelihood of sensation loss, and the same goes for nipple reduction, which is more common.

"The nipple itself doesn't have much sensation, or women wouldn't breast-feed," Dr. Stubbs says, although I know a few women who would disagree. "The areola is the part that is most sensitive to touch. The actual projectile part has little sensation." He continues, "Nipples are hard to make and easy to reduce. You just amputate them [ack!] at the halfway mark and they heal up very quickly."

Why would any woman want to have big perky nipples reduced? I always thought of them as an asset rather than a liability. "Some women, after they've breast-fed, get large, leathery nipples; others with large nipples are self-consious that people will think, 'Wow! She's turned on,'" says Dr. Stubbs, who also does nipple reduction on men.

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